I’m not a stupid person, why can’t I just do the right thing? Because love fucks with your head. And I love him. There’s something in him that I need and there’s something in me that he needs, and I know it seems like we totally annoy the shit out of each other (which is true for the most part) but I don’t know what I would do without him. I can’t lose him…I can’t.
I don’t want to run away from this, because I don’t want to run away from him. That’s really what this is about now. It’s not about me being stuck anymore, dependent. There is absolutely nothing more that I need from him. I just know that he can’t do this alone. If I leave things will never get better. Maybe for me, but not for him.
We’re still trying to hold onto that thing, that thing that we each possess that has somehow held us together, healed us over the years, if not healed then at least made us a little better. We make each other better…so how are we supposed to be without each other?