Coping with anxiety was hard enough.
Coping with anxiety while the world watched was agony.
Yes, my dreams came alive the moment I stepped on stage.
But, my nightmares waited for me the moment I stepped off.
Yet to the outside world, I had it all.
My reality however, was no rock-n-roll fairy tale.
See, my spiral started when the man I loved walked away without a word.
So… I didn’t take that well.
In fact a year later, I was getting by on pills, music and denial.
Now I was back where it all started and we ended.
I was scheduled to perform in my hometown.
A tour I swore I could handle.
But when a stalker joined the party, I had reached my fragile limit.
Mentally and emotionally, I was done.
And on the anniversary of my dumping, in my darkest hour, he came back.
Vowing to protect me, wanting to fix me and to find us again.
The same guy who sacrificed his own dreams so I could perform.
To get here, I took and took, never giving back.
The adult in me had to at least recognize my role in his leaving.
With open eyes, I knew it was my turn to sacrifice.
No matter the cost, I owed him.
This wasn’t just my dream, but his too.
Then I found myself at a crossroads.
That place where everything I had always wanted was mine for the taking.
And I would.
Take it, that is.
Except for one tiny problem…
I hated being famous.