Professor Micah Boesiger –
In love? Me? Could I actually have fallen in love again? The idea shook me to the core. It seemed wrong. I loved Daniel. I still loved Daniel with everything in me and I would give anything to bring him back. ANYTHING. So how could I possibly love someone else? I didn’t want Daniel to fade. That was the cycle. Somewhere deep down inside, I didn’t really want to acknowledge that he was gone. I had, to my detriment, kept the entire world at an arm’s length and never closer…
I taught theoretical physics at the University of Nevada. Terrance Evans would have been my favorite student if it weren’t for the fact that he was ALWAYS late, as in every single time. I hated tardiness and I was so close to railroading this late little butthole, but I often held back. Something about the sullen look in his eye told me not to. Not to mention he was extremely smart. When it came to theoretical physics and mathematics, he was leagues above his drooly-mouthed colleagues. He was too young for me, but I’ll admit that he wasn’t hard on the eyes especially when he smiled. Which didn’t happen very often.
Terrance Evans –
I went through my bills versus my income in my head, over and over again. If I lost the job at Rigly’s then I wouldn’t be able to pay rent. If I couldn’t pay rent, Chance and I would be homeless. If we were homeless, CPS would take Chance from me in a heartbeat. They were already skeptical at letting me have him four years ago since he had autism and I was barely an adult in the eyes of the court. Of course, I was only 18 then but what they never understood was that when you lived a life like I’ve lived, you’re never ‘18’.
Sometimes I feared that I’d lose control of my mind, just like my mom and dad. I’d have to eat my words along with all of the resentment I harbored towards my parents. That fear, though I pushed it down as far as I could most of the time, was likely the number one cause for me to keep everyone else at an arm’s length. It was probably the reason I’d been fantasizing about Professor Boesiger. It was because he was safe. He was safe because he was out of reach.
Professor Boesiger was officially the hottest man I’d ever known. I couldn’t focus during class. I just watched him as he lectured the class, imagining various scenarios wherein Professor Boesiger bent me over his podium and made me see stars.
I have never dated in all my 22 years because I’ve never had the time. I didn’t live the kind of life that warranted ‘me time’. Still, I had my day dreams and I often pictured the perfect guy. Professor Boesiger seemed like the kind of guy I’d like to be with someday. He looked like a personal trainer with thick shoulders and a well-defined chest. I knew that he was German and god help me, if he spoke with a German accent I think my pants would have gone up in flames. He was clearly very smart, which was something that was very attractive to me. It didn’t matter, though. He was a sarcastic ass. I didn’t pick up any kind of sense that he was gay. And, he was my teacher. Oh, did I mention that I didn’t have time for love? I didn’t. It was a waste of time to even think about it.